The Best BDSM Paddles – For Beginners to the Advanced

BDSM paddle

Spanking with the help of a BDSM Paddle is deliciously naughty. A good spanking turns your girlfriend’s bum rosy and inviting. The smacking sound is exciting, and the powerplay is a real turn-on.

In this article I will recommend my favorite BDSM paddles and give you plenty of ideas on how to use them. There are several different kinds of paddles to choose between; regardless of if you are a complete beginner or are looking to build your collection, I got you covered.

Scroll down if you want to get straight to my recommendations, or continue reading to learn more about spanking and how to use BDSM paddles.

Why use a BDSM paddle

In BDSM, this form of punishment is known as impact play. When it comes to impact play, you can of course use your hand or something from the kitchen. However, a BDSM paddle is superior. A good paddle means more spanking and better control; you can also inflict that sexy sound without your hand getting tired.

Spanking can be part of the foreplay or the act itself. Many people who enjoy impact play can even achieve orgasm from being spanked. That’s how hot this game is.

When it comes to spanking, there are various toys to choose from, such as whips, floggers, and paddles. Each instrument delivers a different sensation. Check out our guide to the best whips and floggers here.

Pre-spanking talk

To practice BDSM it’s important to have an open communication. During the pre-play talk, discuss what you want to experience. How do your fantasies play out? Discuss limits and decide on a safe word.

The better you are at talking about things, the more you will be able to let loose and enjoy the spanking itself.

When spanking is done right, it’s not only very fucking sexy, but it is also an opportunity to get closer to your girlfriend. Trying different versions of spanking and acting out erotic fantasies is part of a thrilling journey to explore your sexuality.

Before you have tried it, you can never know exactly which kink will turn you on the most. By being open to exploring BDSM, you will be able to unlock parts of your girlfriend’s sexuality no even she has discovered before.  

A few tips regarding consent

Among consenting couples, the effects of spanking or similar physical contact on sexuality may vary depending on personal preferences and dynamics. For couples, such activities can make the sexual experience more exciting or emotionally intense. The most important thing is that these activities take place with mutual consent and trust.

Good communication and setting boundaries ensure that both partners feel comfortable. At the same time, it is critical that these activities occur safely and healthily.

The keys to a healthy sexual experience are that both partners want such activities, communicate openly, and respect each other.

Beste Guneysu, Psychologist

Why do we like spanking?

There are several different reasons why so many people are intrigued and turned on by spanking and BDSM paddles. Those reasons are also the reason why you should stop hesitating and give spanking a try.

A good spanking will increase the blood flow to the genitals, this is the same physical process that also occurs when someone gets turned on. That’s one of the reasons why spanking and being turned on are two sides of the same paddle for many BDSM practitioners.

Not only does spanking increase blood flow to the area in question, thereby making it more sensitive, but it also stimulates the nerve endings and releases endorphins and dopamine.

When we experience pain, endorphins and similar pleasure hormones are released to counteract the pain signals sent to the brain.

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This results in an intense natural high. In some cases, spanking can lead to an altered state of consciousness. Spanking can of course also lead to intense orgasms.


How to use a BDSM paddle?

Test your new toy before starting the play, a pillow will do the trick when you want to practice aim and strength. You can also try the sting of the particular paddle by slapping it on your hand or thigh.

Before it’s time to start with the spanking it’s important to warm up. Put your girlfriend in position and give the area you plan to spank a gentle massage. Move your fingers over the skin. You can also kiss, lick and tickle her bum to encourage an explosive physical reaction when you start with the main course: the spanking.

Where to spank?

Avoid spanking the spine, the kidneys and other vital organs.

The best places for spanking are where there is a lot of muscle such as:

  • the buttocks
  • the back of the thighs
  • gentle spanks over the breasts and the vagina are also allowed

Just make sure your woman is okay with spanking an area before trying it, and do be careful.

During the spanking, pay attention to her whole body. Sure, give her a good spanking, but also make sure that she is very turned on. The closer to orgasm, the hotter the situation will be. For maximum impact, you can alternate between spanking her and giving her pleasure. Check out some of my favorite fingering techniques here.

Practice makes perfect, and with the help of your new toy, you will become a spanking master. Your girlfriend will love the mix between pleasure and punishment.

Now let’s have a look at the best BDSM paddles.


My Recommendations

For the Lover Who Enjoys Extra Sting

Dragon Tail Paddle

dragon tail paddle

The Dragon Tail is flexible and durable and delivers a stingy slap that will make your girlfriend obedient in no time. The narrow tip has an amazing bite and is perfect for those hard-to-hit places other paddles can’t reach. It’s excellent for genitals and targeted impact, as well as a good toy for all-around play. If you flip the paddle around, you can mix things up and deliver a couple of thuddy slaps.

The Dragon Tail is made from 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone, so it is easy to clean, you can even put the paddle in the dishwasher. Another big bonus with the Dragon Tail is that it is safe for insertion with a lubricant of your choice. This plus will give you the possibility to tease and spank your girlfriend all the way to orgasm.

Pros

  • This type of paddle can add an extra dimension to paddle play
  • Being made of quality, skin-friendly silicone material can minimize skin irritation.

Cons

  • When used incorrectly or too much, it can cause pain or discomfort.

A BDSM Paddle For the Sweet and Naughty

Fur Lined Paddle

Fur Lined Paddle

This fur-lined paddle is excellent both for a beginner and for someone with a bit of experience. The huge advantage of this paddle is that it has two very different sides, one soft fur-lined side and one hard side.

Sexual toys such as “fur-lined paddles” or fur rags have the potential to add variety and excitement to sexual experiences. For example, this type of toy can stimulate the senses of touch and feel, creating the comforting and pleasant sensation of soft fur on your skin. These delicate touches, especially during foreplay or when combined with sexual toys, can help you experience more intense pleasure by stimulating sensitive areas on the body. It can also be useful for those who want to balance power between partners or play with role games.

You can offer your girlfriend two unique sensations by alternating between the two sides. Start soft by giving her a couple of gentle slaps with the fur-lined side, you can also use this side to stroke her all over the body. Then tease her before it’s time for the real punishment.

When she is ready for some serious spanking, you simply flip the paddle to the leather side. This side offers a whack that is both loud and with some sting to it. The price is also great.

Pros

  • A feather-covered paddle offers a different sensory experience with light touches on the skin or movement of the feathers.
  • Thanks to its furry structure, it helps to stimulate the areola area more.

Cons

  • It may be difficult to clean due to its furry structure. This may lead to the need to reduce the frequency of use.
  • Furry structure may become thinner with frequent use.

For the Old Fashioned

Leather Wrapped Wood Spanking Paddle

LEATHER WRAPPED WOOD SPANKING PADDLE

When you want a BDSM paddle, you can’t go wrong with a classic. This Leather Wrapped beautiful piece of wood is everything you would expect from a favorite paddle. The paddle looks great.

This high-quality paddle is produced in-house by The Stockroom’s own leather team in LA. It also has a leather cord looped through the small hole at the handle. So you can wrap it around your wrist for extra support, or store it decoratively on the wall in your dungeon.

Pros

  • These types of paddles usually have a stylish and sexy appearance, which can meet fetishistic expectations.
  • Leather-covered wooden paddles are usually made of high-quality materials and can offer durability.

Cons

  • When used incorrectly or overused it can cause pain or discomfort.
  • If used incorrectly, it may cause skin irritation.

A BDSM Paddle For the Clean and Flexible

Thwack Paddle

thwack paddle

The thwack paddle is rigid and thick, providing a good spank with just the flick of the wrist. This paddle is excellent for beginners and pros alike.

The real advantage of the thwack paddle is its ability to produce delightfully intense sensations with low effort. And with more effort, it stings a LOT. If you have a very naughty girlfriend, this is a great way to give her the punishment she deserves.

The paddle is made from 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone, so it is easy to clean and made to last. If you need any more convincing, I can also tell you that the sound is lovely and a hot red bum is guaranteed.

Pros

  • Silicone structure provides softness and flexibility. This extends the life of the product.
  • It offers hygienic use as it is easy to clean.

Cons

  • For those looking for a harder sexuality, its soft structure may not provide the desired result. Therefore, it may be more suitable for beginners.

For the Enthusiast Looking for Extra Fun

Plunge Paddle

Plunge Paddle

The Tantus brand is really the king when it comes to impact toys, and The Plunge Paddle is one of their most appreciated paddles.

The paddle delivers a thuddy slap that will make your girlfriend obedient in no time, and the handle is made to provide an amazing reward to your sub. But if you like, you can even use the handle as a paddle.

Delivering an amazing bite it’s perfect for those hard-to-hit places that other paddles can’t reach. It’s excellent for genitals and targeted impact, as well as a good toy for all-around play. If you flip the paddle back around again, you can mix things up and deliver a couple of thuddy slaps.

The Plunge Paddle is made from 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone, so it is easy to clean. You can even put the paddle in the dishwasher.

The basis of all these activities will be reaching orgasm in the highest quality possible. Orgasm is a physical and emotional response experienced as a result of sexual activities and is an important part of the sexual experience for many people. Orgasm gives people a feeling of great pleasure and relaxation and is the highest point of sexual satisfaction. Additionally, endorphins released during orgasm create a feeling of pleasure and happiness in the body.

All the different use cases of this paddle will give you the possibility to tease and spank your girlfriend all the way to orgasm.

Pros

  • It can be used as an anal plug and vibrator. This can increase sexual pleasure and increase the speed of reaching orgasm.
  • They are waterproof and effortless to clean, all thanks to the incredibly smooth silicone.

Cons

  • While it’s undeniably beginner-friendly, it might limits the level of enjoyment.

A BDSM Paddle For the Experienced

Tawse It Overboard BDSM paddle

Tawse It Overboard paddle

The Tawse It Overboard is the paddle of choice for the spanking fan. Tawses are the real deal, they were used for corporal punishment in public schools in Scotland until 1987. The impact of the standard leather tawse can be very intense, even more so in Tantus Silicone. Thus, this paddle will inflict a lot of delicious pain without much effort.

The four tongues of Tawse It Overboard are perfect when you want to do a bit of teasing and tickling before starting with the slapping. This paddle hurts really good, and a bright pink ass is guaranteed after a couple of hits with this mean and effective paddle.

Pros

  • Thanks to its forked and silicone structure, it can create a finger touch sensation on your partner.
  • Thanks to its flexible and segmented structure, it can be used for vaginal and anal stimulation at the same time.

Cons

  • Due to its shape and structure, it can be confusing for beginner users.

Ideas for spanking

Once your BDSM paddle has arrived, it’s time to put the toy to good use and explore different fantasies. Let me give you some of my favorite tips.

  • Role-playing. Sexual fantasies come in many different forms and shapes. Whatever your sexual fantasy entails, a BDSM paddle is a great addition. Try playing the classic disobedient schoolgirl game. Or show your girlfriend who’s the boss by letting her play the role of a naughty secretary in need of a suitable punishment. Don’t dive right into the spanking, take your time and play out the whole scene. Anticipation is a huge turn-on.
    • Such games can diversify the sexual experience, add excitement and offer new experiences.
    • Partners can explore their own sexual desires and fetishes by diving into fantasy worlds by taking on different roles.
    • Positive aspects include the discovery of new experiences, revitalizing the relationship, and making partners feel closer to each other.
  • Counting the spanks. Make sure you tell your girlfriend why she is being punished. Also tell her exactly how many spankings she has deserved. When you spank her, you can have her count the spanks. If she is being naughty, you can always increase the number of spanks she has to endure. 
  • Together with restrains. Spanking works excellent with all sorts of restraints. Try ball gags or other bondage restraints. The powerplay will give both of you a real kick. Your girlfriend won’t be able to get away, in the best possible way. She will feel dominated and horny.
    • Ball plugs used during sexual intercourse target anal stimulation and thus provide pleasure.
    • The anal area contains many nerve endings and can therefore provide intense sexual arousal when used correctly.
    • Ball plugs can offer the individual a deep and different sensory experience while being squeezed or removed by the anal muscles.
  • Blindfold. Blindfold your girlfriend before you give her a good go with the BDSM paddle. When a person is deprived of one of their sense, the other senses become more powerful. If you blindfold your girlfriend, she will feel both the pain and the pleasure more intensely.

Only your naughty mind sets the limits for what to do with the BDSM paddle and where the play goes.

Let your girlfriend spank you

If you are the least interested in being spanked, you should definitely give it a try. A surprising amount of men enjoys being dominated by their woman. Nothing wrong with switching the roles in a bit of powerplay. After all, being spanked is a fair punishment for all those times you were being bad.

Feeling a bit nervous about bringing up the subject? Emphasize that you are happy with the sex, but that there is this special thing that may turn you on and that you would like to try out. Don’t be ashamed for wanting to try how a good spanking feels on your bare butt. Pain and pleasure are linked together.

Pain and pleasure are linked by the complex workings of our nervous and sensory system.

First, nerve endings that are stimulated physically or emotionally send signals to the brain. These signals are interpreted in the brain and the experiences the person perceives are shaped. The connection between pain and pleasure arises from the fact that sometimes these signals are processed in similar regions. Additionally, in some cases, physical stimuli or experiences can trigger feelings of both pain and pleasure simultaneously.

Our final choice: Plunge Paddle

Plunge Paddle

Certainly, singling out one in particular is challenging due to the varying functionalities of each item. However, I will suggest the one that can offer you the most enjoyment.

  • Since it can be used both as an anal plug and a vibrator, it helps you experience sexual pleasure to the fullest.
  • It is a product that appeals to both beginners and advanced users.
  • It is a product that is easy to clean and carry.

BDSM aftercare

When the play has ended, it is important to check in with your girlfriend. Spanking activates all sorts of hormones. Releasing endorphins is the body’s natural way to deal with pain.

As mentioned before, being spanked can lead to a natural high, but this high can also mean there will be a comedown period. Thus, it is extra important to take care of your partner and be aware of their feelings after the play has ended.

Mental care

Talking to a partner about their feelings after intercourse is an important part of a healthy sexual relationship and establishing communication, understanding, and commitment throughout the relationship.

This type of communication will help partners understand each other’s emotional needs, feel satisfied, and grow together. At the same time, experiences during sexual intercourse can help people get to know themselves and each other better. Openly expressing feelings and thoughts can help detect and resolve potential problems early and make the relationship more solid and satisfying. Therefore, sharing feelings openly and honestly with your partner after sexual intercourse is an important step that contributes to the healthy development of the relationship.

Body care

Tend to possible bruises, an icepack will help with eventual swelling. Also, bring snacks and give your girlfriend lots of kisses and cuddle time. After the spanking, it’s important to talk about the experience. Open and honest communication is how you achieve an adventurous sex life.


How to Become Amazing in Bed

Want to know the secret of becoming amazing in bed, to give your woman the best sex she’s had in her whole life?

I’m Joe Nathan, the creator of The Pleasure Keys. Way before I started the website, I learned that sex is a skill, and just like any other skill, it can be improved to perfection.

To learn how to give your woman amazing experiences and how to fuck her like she’s never been fucked before, I recommend my ultimate guide to become an amazing lover.

Best of luck
, Joe


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Professionally reviewed by:

Beste Güneysu Şeker is an expert psychologist. She has been working with children and adults as a specialist for 5 years, both with individual therapy and online therapy processes. She holds a Master's Degree in Clinic Psychology by the Near East University and a Bachelor's Degreee in Psychology by Eastern Mediterranean University (both institutions are in Cyprus). She is based in Angora, Turkey. You can also find her on LinkedIn and Instagram


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